Why?


"Why" have been bugging me and haunting me for the past few weeks and days.
Why?

I wanted to tell you, but i never have the chance, my courage is nearly nil.
I am frustrated. They told me not too. I tried, but, i was cheating myself, struggling deep in my heart, i am really confused.
Why?

You used to be the one i trusted much, but, i am afraid that what i whined about will never get to you. I'm no longer being the one you really understand much.
Why?

I have been hoping that you will live your life happily, but i have the sudden urge to somehow interfere them.
Why?

I always wanted to tell you something when i am down,
I wanted to tell you how i feel,
but,
i am afraid that your reaction will disappoint me,
i am afraid that what you tell me will never be the answer that i ought for.
Why?


If you listen to me attentively, i will think bout something that's not going to happen.
Why?

I prayed to God and at the same time, hopping for something good to happen.
I prayed to God, asking him to spare you with happiness.
I see you,
I see you,
I sincerely wished that what i prayed will be listened,
and finally,
You are happy everyday!
But,
My own wish can never still be fullfilled.
Why?

You won't understand my feelings,
every night...
tears,
flowing down my cheek,
and when tiredness struck,
i get into my dreamland,
with mostly nightmares and never ever a sweet dreams!
I hope for the best everyday,
But disappointment always struck me hard!
Everytime,
Everyday,
I pretended...
Such a pathetic life,
Is it worth thinking?
Is that a test from you, my LORD?
Why?
Why me?
YOU are the only one who sees the entire me, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.
Why are you still so harsh to me.


It is an emo post(maybe too much emo songs today), but, i still want to post it, because, this is the way to express myself as no one will be listening to me...

WHY ='( sigh......