Carpe Diem....

This few days, i have been trying my very best to instill this two words in my thought. I never anticipate what will be happening tomorrow and the day after tomorrow because i am still in the state of confusion at times. Why is it so? I have no reason for this, but i am trying really hard to face my everyday life and enjoy my day to the fullest. Even if something turned out to be uneventful or seemed to be really hurtful, i think it's best to keep it to myself, cause there's no one that i can really trust on and spit my problems out to them. Maybe some of you might be wondering what about my parents? They are indeed my love ones, but, they are really busy and have been worrying a lot bout a lot of stuff back in my hometown, need not to say bout my academic fee that they needa worry about as i will be leaving to the US this coming August. So, in order to ease their burden, i prefer not to mention some of the 'minor' problems that have been bugging me recently. It had been a hard time for me, but i am really trying to be as cool as possible, be as strong as possible, be as wise as possible, and be as rational as possible so as not to show my embarrassing act and stupidity in front of my fellow friends and parents!

Seize the day! I am trying hard... It's true, we won't know what will be happening tomorrow. Does anyone knows? I would be glad for you if you really know what is going to happen tomorrow! So, indirectly, does this also tells me that i am really uncertain about my future? What's with my future? Will i be a successful person? Will i get the thing that i want and ought for? Will i eventually do the thing that i most interest in? Do i get to love the person whom i love?
Will i be happy in the near future? Or well, is it too early to worry about all this problem?

I have been cheering up many of my friends at times when they face difficulties, but somehow, sometime, i find it really contradicting towards my character. Have i been worrying too much about the others compared to myself? Am i someone who loves and cares bout the others more than myself? Arghh. It's gotta be true, at some point! However, let us try to view this problem in the other perspective. I think i did the right thing all the while, i never doubt what i did will harm myself nor my friends or peers around me. It has been the trend since we were borned to earth. Give and take.... Give and take... If you want the people around you to be happy, give more and stop whining all the time! Life is never FAIR! But, don't get upset by this. My sense of justice has dictation over my happiness, Justice tells me that i must be true to my conscience, never disregarding it for any reason. To be happy, i have to be me... And so yeah, that's me, cheering up, motivating the others, caring and worrying bout the others more than myself! What a joke!!!

I'm into rant mode again! I must pull back! I think perhaps, its time to think about myself now! Although i know it's hard and it takes a little time, but i will be working hard for it, trying to achieve my ultimate aim in life! I know myself the most compared to the others, i have been concealing the character of my true self for quite a long time, i also fully understand that my thoughts are never 'truly' mine, but largely the product and influence of the environment and peers around me!

Hah, its time to stop soon, cause i just remember that i need to study for my Physcis, Calculus as well as my statistics. I will never anticipate what is going to happen tomorrow, but i will always be ready for tomorrow and cherish the moment that i have at present!

CARPE DIEM!!!
^^